Frequently Asked Questions of Wedding Gift Etiquette

Wedding season is upon us, and if youre like most people youll attend your share of nuptials before the year is through. In these changing times, the dos and donts of wedding protocol just arent as clear-cut as they used to be. Most difficult of all can be the tricky matter of wedding gift etiquette. Everyone has questions about proper contemporary wedding gift etiquette. Here I will try to answer the most common and thorniest questions, and hopefully guide you toward some easy and affordable solutions.

One question I hear often in regards to wedding gift etiquette is: Do I need to give separate gifts for the engagement and the wedding? The simple answer to this is, no. One single wedding gift is always sufficient. At the same time, an engagement gift is considered polite and thoughtful. Basically, its never a bad idea. Its especially advisable to give an engagement present if youre attending an engagement party.

One valuable rule of thumb is that you should give the bride and groom something from their registry as an engagement gift. Then give money for the actual wedding gift. You certainly cant go wrong that way. On the other hand, the engagement gift can be a lovely opportunity to offer something more personal, something that youve chosen yourself, such as decorative crystal or porcelain figurines, or an elegant picture frame. Do make sure to take a look at the bride and grooms wedding registry before purchasing something not on the registry, just to make sure it matches and they wont be getting multiple versions of the same item.

Another common question is: How much should I spend? There is no firm guideline for spending. Proper wedding gift etiquette dictates that you should consider how much the bride and groom, or their families, are spending on you. Generally speaking, weddings cost around $100 - $150 per person. So if you are a single person, you want to give about that amount. On the other hand, if you are a family of three or four or more, you will want to give more accordingly. At the same time, dont feel obligated to spend more than you can afford. If $100 per person is out of your budget, then just spend what you can manage. Your presence at the ceremony and a few kind, sincere words of congratulations will mean as much to the bride and groom as an expensive espresso maker probably more.

Many wedding guests also wonder whether they are required buy a gift off the bridal registry or not. Some people feel that registries are impersonal, and take the individuality out of gift giving. But in todays climate of wedding gift etiquette, the registry is probably your best bet. Its essentially a way for the engaged couple to say, Heres what we want and need. Youre much better off giving the couple something youre sure they want, rather than something which may be unique but which will just get returned anyway. If you feel uncomfortable purchasing off the registry, keep in mind the absolute number one rule of wedding gift etiquette: money is always appreciated.